General Balance – 1

This page includes subjects like personal growth, ethics, family and relationships. They do not fall specifically into one category, as life is holistic. The Balancing Our 4 “Bodies” page explains more on this. You can also search this page by pressing Ctrl+F on your keyboard, or command+F for Mac, to open the Find feature.

General Balance Page 1:

General Balance Page 2:

  • The balance between what goes into your mouth and what comes out.
  • The balance between Tolerating others and maintaining your values and standards.
  • The balance between Striving and just being.
  • The balance between faith in God’s protection and insuring your own protection.

The Balance Between Joy and Seriousness.

 

There are many serious subjects we have to deal with in our lives and on the planet. But being in a continuous serious mood does not help us to deal with them most efficiently. We can easily become over-burdened, stressed out and even unpleasant to be around. If you feel you are too serious, it helps to find a good role model.

A good example of this balance is the Dalai Lama. In the book The Practice of Happiness by John Kehoe (Zoetic Inc.), Kehoe tells of a somber ceremonial affair honouring the years Nobel laureates: “Many dignitaries were in attendance including Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu (winner of the Nobel Peace Prize), the Dalai Lama and various others. The Dalai Lama was standing directly behind Bishop Tutu, who was sitting in a heavy wooden, straight-backed chair. At a particularly earnest moment of the proceedings, Bishop Tutu’s hat was abruptly pushed down over his eyes. The Bishop was startled, but didn’t have to look back to know who was responsible. The Dalai Lama was laughing.”

Kehoe also tells of a business lunch that he attended where the Dalai Lama was being honoured. He writes: “Representatives from various religious groups, business movers and shakers, and numerous local celebrities were in attendance. The Dalai Lama sat at the head table, holding court, and throughout the meal he had everyone around him laughing. When it came time to speak, however, he spoke very eloquently and with emotion about the plight of the Tibetan people under Chinese rule. What impressed me most about the event was that, even with the obvious burden he felt in his heart for his people and homeland, the Dalai Lama could still so easily find time for joy and laughter.”

It would not help the Dalai Lama’s cause or the burden of his oppressed people if he walked around with a long face, feeling sorry for himself and his people. We are most effective when we are well balanced with seriousness and joy. Another good example of someone with a good balance is Dr. Hunter “Patch” Adams, founder of the Gesundheit Institute, and made popular by the movie Patch Adams starring Robin Williams. Being a doctor is a serious business, and yet joy in the right way greatly enhances it.

 

Spontaneous Laughter.

 

The best form of laughter is unplanned. If you try to do something funny, it is premeditated, so it helps to surrender that desire and just be patient for the opportunity for laughter to arise. They will come your way much more often if you have a healthy attitude towards life, and are able to laugh at yourself. (If you need to work on these aspects, see the Attitude page and “The balance between self-worth and humility” on the Spiritual Balance page.) If you feel the need to work on being more playful, there is a wonderful little book called Play Therapy by Michael Joseph (Elf-help Books, Abbey Press, St. Meinrad, IN, 1990). It contains 35 gems with great illustrations, like: “5. Remember: you have intrinsic value and goodness. You don’t have to prove it by ceaseless productivity.”

 

The balance between looking after ourselves and serving others.

 

A familiar name in the area of human behaviour and motivation is Prof. A. H. Maslow and his theory of the hierarchy of needs. It is usually depicted in a pyramid diagram with the following sequence of human needs starting at the bottom: Physiological (e.g. food and shelter), Safety, Social, Esteem and Self-actualization. We only feel the need of a particular level once all those below are fulfilled. We obviously need to look after ourselves and make sure our basic needs are met. Once we have fulfilled our social needs and responsibilities, we gain respect and esteem. We then move to the top level of self-actualization, feeling the need to fully utilize our talents and skills, which often involves helping and serving others.

We can best serve others when we are healthy and strong, so there is no need to feel guilty or selfish when we take care of our own needs. The problem with Maslow’s Theory if that it relies on our esteem coming from acknowledgement from others. In personal psychology, this is one of the biggest causes of co-dependence. This basically means giving control of our happiness to someone else, which results in many problems in relationships. The truth is that we are all precious spiritual beings (more on this on the Spiritual Balance page), and when we find that value within ourselves and in others, we can get on with loving and fulfilling service.

 

Service to others.

 

Our service can either be in our own home or on a planetary scale. Ultimately all is One, and the spirit in which we serve makes the biggest difference. A heart filled with love serving in a local community is worth much more to God (or raises the vibration of the planet more) than a globetrotting celebrity who is contacting millions of people but who is doing it for fame. The wonderful thing is that we can engage in world service through the power of prayer and meditation without leaving our home. This becomes much more powerful when people link up in groups, even across the world through the Internet in organized prayer vigils that concentrate on specific conditions.

As for opportunities for community service, the possibilities are endless. We are often led to areas where we are most needed. They are often right in front of us, as God and His angels tend to bring our karma and our opportunities right to our doorstep. Just look at supplying practical help where it is needed and you will be on your way!

 

Benefits of Service.

 

There are also really great side benefits for people involved in loving service. Besides the wonderful feelings like love, fulfillment and self-worth, research has shown two significant physiological effects in the bodies of those who serve regularly:

  1. A greater amount of endorphins, which creates greater happiness and joy.
  2. People who serve others live 10 to 20 years longer than those who do not.

Another big advantage: Some esoteric teachings of the Ascended Masters teach that there are two main ways to accelerate balancing negative karma: invoking the violet flame and service to life. Furthermore, as we extend ourselves in loving service, we may find that some of the things that were a burden in taking care of our own needs will fade away. Too much self-absorption tends to create personal problems.

The last word goes to Albert Schweitzer: “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”

 

The balance between disciplining children and giving them freedom.

 

There are two main keys. Firstly, don’t condemn the child, only it’s behaviour. Secondly it’s not either/or, freedom or discipline, but the way you balance both that works best. To spank and punish a child because it is doing something that irritates you is not going to be the best for them. They are naturally inquisitive and active, and that is partly what they need in order to grow. It’s our responsibility to make their environment safe so that they can explore without us having to continually say “Don’t touch!”. The Montessori schools understands that children learn an enormous amount by touching, and create a safe environment for them to do so.

When our children do go out of those safe bounds we have set, or are really naughty, they do need discipline. Once again, do not tell them they are bad. Identify their behaviour as undesirable or wrong, and lovingly reassure them that they are good and that it is not like them to engage in such behaviour. If we do it in a calm loving way, they will learn well and thank us later. If we fear hurting their feelings they become unruly and spoiled, and it makes it easier for them to have social problems as an adult without a wholesome balance in life. Remember, the soul in the little body is wanting to know its limits, and to know that you care. They purposely test you when you give them a limit. If you stop them, they feel secure. If not, they’ll stretch it until you put your foot down.

 

The balance between censorship and freedom.

 

Censorship is not the ideal in any society. It is based on the fear of people not being able to make good decisions for themselves. Having the opportunity to choose and make decisions is the way we learn and grow. The ideal is good moral guidance and education from our parents when we are kids, so we can make healthy decisions. The small upside of censorship, in the form of restricting adult content on children’s TV shows, is that unfortunately many parents use the TV as a baby-sitter. The soul and subconscious of a young child absorbs and remembers EVERYTHING they see at a subconscious level. God only knows what trash they’d be seeing on TV without any censorship. However, it should be us who makes these decisions of what our children watch, not the government censorship laws, which seem to be getting worse by the month.

 

General Balance – Page 2